When you hear the words self-care, you generally think about yourself. But, if you’re in a relationship, you should consider self-care for couples as well. Just as you need to be intentional about self-care for yourself, self-care for couples should be a priority, too.
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What Is Relationship Self-Care?
Relationship self-care for married couples and couples dating seriously, is about taking care of your relationship. More specifically, it is taking care of yourself while you are in a loving partnership so that, in turn, you strengthen your relationship.
Couples self-care is couples doing things like taking time for themselves (individually), being honest with themselves, and setting healthy boundaries. Doing these types of things on a regular basis will likely have a positive impact on the quality of your relationship.
Healthy relationships require partners to take care of themselves and be intentional about doing activities to nurture their relationship.
How to Practice Self Care in a Relationship: Do It Together!
Couples self-care starts with being together. It includes being intentional about spending quality time together on a regular basis. Couples self-care is now commonly referred to as pair care, but know it’s the same concept: couples taking time to care for their relationship.
One thing to remember is that self-care doesn’t always have to be a solo routine. When you take the time to do self-care activities with your partner, you not only reap individual benefits, but you may also foster a more intimate relationship with your partner.
32 “Pair Care” Self Care Ideas for Couples
Pair Care is often used when referring to self-care activities for couples. Pair Care is just as important as self-care when it comes to relationships. It’s important to find activities that you can do with your partner to help nurture the relationship and foster that closeness needed to maintain a healthy bond.
Here are 32 Pair Care ideas for couples:
1. Set Aside a Self-Care Day Every Month
This is one of my favorite self-care practices to do with my husband. Setting aside time on a regular basis is important so that you’re intentional about dedicating time in your schedule for quality time with your significant other.
2. Put Together a Couples self-care Kit
What items do you need for a great day of self-care? Is it a bubble bath? Essential oils? A self-care playlist? Taking time to curate a self-care kit is a great way to ensure that all of the needed items are in place before the intended self-care day.
Work together to create your couple’s self-care kit before the planned self-care day to ensure that both parties have a relaxing time.
3. Invest in Personal Development for Couples
You do not have to wait until things go awry in your relationship before you seek couples therapy or some other form of personal development for couples. To maintain intimate relationships, it may be helpful to jointly engage in activities that can help you manage your relationship in healthy ways on an ongoing basis.
4. Create a Couples Vision Board
Where do you see your relationship in the next year? The next five years? Spend some quality time creating a couple’s vision board. There is nothing more intimate than working together as a team to reach goals that you have worked together to set for your relationship.
5. Set Goals Together
Having personal goals is great, but you should also set relationship goals if you’re in a committed relationship. Having those goals help you to be mindful about working on things together. Taking care to create goals for your relationship is an activity that can promote a more intimate relationship.
6. Have a “No Social Media” Day – Unplug & Unwind
Social media is great, but it can also be a distraction. Take care to have times where you unplug and unwind from social media and simply focus on being in the moment with your significant other.
7. Team Up to Check Off a Big Item on Your To-Do List
Instead of a “honey-do” list, make a list of things you can do together around the house. Then, work together to get things done and celebrate checking those items off the list! Teamwork makes the dream work!
8. Enjoy a Couples Massage
What is more relaxing than a nice massage? A couple’s massage is one of those self-care activities that, though individual in nature, can have lasting effects for each person. Both parties will walk away from the massage feeling relaxed and renewed, which is bound to positively affect the relationship.
9. Don’t Miss Date Night
Scheduling time to be together on a regular basis is important for relationships. Do you schedule regular date nights? If not, you should. Everyone is so busy these days and it can be easy to overlook spending that quality time with your spouse or partner.
When you schedule your date nights, make them non-negotiable. Try your best not to miss date nights. Your relationship needs that intimate time with each other.
10. Work Out Together
There are so many benefits of exercising. There is psychology to support the benefits of couples working out together. In addition to improving your overall health and working towards reaching your individual fitness goals, working out together is yet another way for you to spend time together.
11. Read a Book & Discuss
Reading and discussing a book with your partner is a great way to spend time together and a great way to improve your communication with each other. Depending on the book you select, you may have some conversations that could possibly help you connect with each other in different ways.
12. Go for Nature Walks Regularly
Grab your walking shoes and hit a local trail with your significant other. This is a great way to spend some quality time alone. Not only will you reap the benefits of the walk, but I bet you’ll have some time to have some quality conversations as well.
13. Pray Together
If you are a spiritual person, praying together with your partner is beneficial. When you’re both clear and focused on the same things in your relationship, you are strengthening the bonds of intimacy.
14. Help Each Other Complete an Item on Their Bucket List
If you know that your partner has an item on their bucket list, find ways to help him or her complete an item or two on the list. Showing an interest in each other’s wishes is a good way to increase intimacy in a relationship.
15. Cook a Fancy Homemade Meal
Cooking together with your partner can be a fun way to spend time together. Plan a romantic dinner and then get in the kitchen together to make it happen!
16. Plan an Intimate Vow Renewal
Are you approaching a milestone anniversary? A vow renewal is the perfect way to recommit yourselves to each other. It might be fun to plan an intimate vow renewal together.
17. Learn How to Dance the Charleston
The Charleston is a lively ballroom dance that many people recognize and associate with fun. Learning the Charleston with your spouse can be a fun way to hang out and get some laughs together.
18. Spend Quality Time With Kids and Grandkids
Spending quality time with kids (and grandkids) is great for couples. Being intentional about spending time that quality time together is a great way to establish and maintain closeness in your family.
19. Plan A Romantic Getaway
Even if it’s for a short time and if you can’t get away far, it’s so nice to go on a romantic getaway. Whether you plan it together or if you plan it as a surprise for your partner, this scheduled quality time is sure to be beneficial for the relationship.
20. Make Love
Need I say more? Experts have linked sexual activity to positive changes in relationships. Verywellmind.com states that higher rates of sexual activity can lead to lower blood pressure, reduced stress, greater intimacy, and even a lower divorce rate.
21. Do Something New That Makes You Both Happy
When is the last time that you’ve done something that makes you both happy? Take some time to talk about the things that make you both happy and then start doing more of those things.
22. Give Back by Volunteering Together
Volunteering in your community not only helps the community, but it gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, too. Sit down with your partner and think about ways that you can give back to your community together.
23. Get Each Other Comfy Pair of PJs
Go shopping together for comfy pajamas. To make it fun, pick out each other’s pajamas. Then, go home, slide into your pajamas and relax together!
24. Invest in a Pair of Quality Pillows
I think we can all agree that getting rest is important. Investing in a pair of quality pillows is a great way to get more rest. Rested couples are happier couples!
25. Discover Then Practice Each Other’s Love Language
Do you know your partner’s love language? If not, take some time to discover what sends the message of love to your significant other. After you discover your partner’s love language, take care to practice it more often.
26. Paint Together
Painting can be therapeutic. It would be even more fun (and more intimate) if you painted together collaboratively rather than having individual canvases. This is a great date night idea that can be lots of fun.
27. Plan Your Dream Vacation Together
Even if you can’t go on your dream vacation right now, spend some quality time planning it! It can be so much fun. Put your plans on your vision board, and then work on a plan to make your dream vacation a reality in the future.
28. Learn a New Skill Together
Do you have a dream skill that you’ve wanted to learn? Talk about it with your significant other and then make plans to learn that skill together. Whether it’s learning a new language or a new craft, it could be so much fun to do it with your partner.
29. Play a Two-Person Sport Like Tennis
Find a two-person sport that both of you like or have been wanting to learn. Dual sports can be so much fun for couples and a great way to spend some time together while being competitive and getting some physical activity in as well.
30. Take Turns Making Breakfast in Bed for Each Other
Take turns making breakfast in bed for each other. This can be a fun way to show your love for each other.
31. Curl Up and Cuddle with a Regular Movie Night
Movie nights are a fun way to spend some quality time together. Take turns picking out the movie. Then cuddle up and watch the movie together with a snack and a glass of wine.
32. Take Care of Each Other’s Chores from Time to Time
How about surprising your partner by taking care of their chores? That’s a great way to send the message that you see how hard the other person is working. It’s also a great way to show that you’re a part of the team.
I hope you enjoyed these self-care ideas for couples! In addition to self-management, it’s also important to find self-care activities that will strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Here are some additional resources to help you as you go on your quest to find the perfect self-care activities for you and your partner.
- 7 Ways Couples Can Practice Self-Care Together – Self-care doesn’t have to be a solo thing. (mindbodygreen.com)
- Pair Care: 20 Self-Care Activities For Couples – While there are many self-care activities that we can do alone, there are also many that we can do with our partners (moms.com)
- 30 Self-Care Rituals for Couples | (datenightguide.com)
- Self-Care Ideas for Couples: 27 Clever Products That’ll Help You Both Unwind – It’s time to treat yourselves. (theknot.com)
- Self-Care Is Good But “Couple-Care” Is What Your Relationship Needs. – (inspiremore.com)