Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

One of the hardest things we can do is let go of unhealthy relationships. Some of these relationships are not just unhealthy; they are toxic. However, letting go of toxic relationships can be more than challenging. We form attachments with people for a variety of reasons. No matter how those relationships came to be, it is never okay to stay in a relationship that compromises your physical or mental health.  

How can you tell if a relationship is unhealthy?  Have you ever been around people who, simply put, perpetuate misery? You turn to them when things are bad, and instead of pulling you out of depression or anxiety, they encourage excessive drinking, living in your misery, and negative responses. These people are not healthy for you. Yes, you need to accept your emotions and allow yourself to feel them, but you do not need to stay in a place of hate. You need to rid yourself of these toxic people. These are the people who do not want to celebrate your wins, but they sure seem to pop up when you lose. They may also only be around when they need something. 

But This Person Is My Family Member or Childhood Friend

So what? Sometimes, our “friends” and family members can be unhealthy and toxic for us. Not every relationship is made in heaven. You have to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy. This recognition does not mean that you should walk away from a relationship just because it isn’t going the way you want right now. All relationships go through ebbs and flows. We have to know when the relationship is unhealthy and when it is just in a lull. If you always feel tense or increased stress with a person, only look to them when you’re miserable but don’t feel better, or you only see them when something negative is happening, you might consider letting the relationship go.

Should I Just Let It Go? 

If the relationship has become unhealthy over the years, you might approach the person and discuss your concerns. However, if you notice that the relationship has always been strained or unhealthy, you might consider just letting it go. You do not owe anyone anything. If you feel that you owe someone something because of loans, specific help, or something else, you might try repaying it before ending the relationship. You also do not need to have a dramatic goodbye. If the other person reaches out and wants to know where you have gone, you can be honest, but you do not need to become toxic in the communication. Simply explain that the relationship was unhealthy, and you had to eliminate contact. You can even wish them well. 

What Then? 

After you have halted communication or spoken your piece (when necessary), you should seek counseling. Toxic relationships wreak havoc on your mental state. You begin to question decisions you have made, and depending on the nature of the relationships, you may even start to question your value. You are valuable. Counseling does not have to be some dramatic, lay on the couch, crying session. You can just visit a trained professional who can help you process the relationship’s effects and the loss. 

Final Thoughts

You must do what is best for you and your mental health. When the relationship is toxic, you do not have to stay. You can eliminate people from your life that do not benefit your mental health. Letting go will not be easy, and you should see a counselor who can help with grief and heartache.