Like in most other situations in life, communication is key for a happy Mother’s Day. New moms and wives can’t expect their husbands to be mind-readers about their need to celebrate Mother’s Day. Many men see Mother’s Day as a gimmick or “Hallmark holiday” to sell greeting cards and flowers. They don’t understand the importance of the day and may inadvertently hurt their wives’ feelings by overlooking this very special day. Instead of spending the day wondering if a surprise is coming later on and ending the night with hurt feelings, new moms and wives need to be upfront about what is expected to celebrate Mother’s Day.
Share the Importance of Mother’s Day
Husbands may not understand how important the celebration of Mother’s Day can be for a new mom or a mothers in general. Married couples who tend not to celebrate every holiday may find they have different ideas about whether Mother’s Day is important or not. This is especially true for men who are married to women who may have scoffed at celebrating “Hallmark holidays” in the past.
In order for married couples to get on the same page about Mother’s Day, women need to communicate to their husbands that Mother’s Day is important to them. Instead of a gimmick to sell or get flowers or cards, Mother’s Day can be a true celebration of motherhood. It is especially important for new moms to communicate the importance of the day to their husbands, who may be unaware a celebration is expected.
Share Expectations for the Mother’s Day Celebration
In addition to sharing that celebrating Mother’s Day is important, wives should share with their husbands how they would like to make the day special. Decide in advance how the day will go. Is breakfast in bed desired? Should the entire family attend a church that day? Will the family go out to dinner, or will the husband prepare a meal? Making Mother’s Day special will be different for each family and each mother. Some women may only want a card to acknowledge her entrance into the ranks of motherhood, while others may want a day-long celebration with gifts, dinner, and more.
Are Mother’s Day Gifts Expected?
One of the most hotly debated questions surrounding Mother’s Day is whether Mother’s Day gifts should be given from husbands to wives. While women tend to see Mother’s Day as a day to celebrate all mothers, men tend to see it as celebrating their own mothers. Therefore, a man tends to believe he should not have to buy a gift for his wife on Mother’s Day, and a woman tends to believe that she should be acknowledged as the mother of his children.
Communicating her expectations to her husband and her feelings about a Mother’s Day gift are key to avoiding confrontations on holiday. Even if a woman only expects a gift from her child or children, new moms in particular need to share that information with their husbands. Should a husband pick out a card from an infant or toddler or simply give mom a day of rest? With older children, wives can tell their husbands that they should coordinate making cards or handmade Mother’s Day gifts from the children if this is expected.
Give Husbands a Chance on Mother’s Day
After wives have taken the opportunity to communicate their feelings and expectations for Mother’s Day, they should step back and give their husbands time to prepare for the day. Husbands may need time alone to shop or a couple of hours to organize homemade gifts from the children. Give him a chance to do his best and be thankful for the effort, even if it isn’t exactly what was expected. The fact that he listened and was willing to try is very important.
What if Mother’s Day comes and there is no card, no flowers, and no effort? Don’t spend the entire day stewing over how he forgot this very special day. Instead, give him the chance to make it right the same day. Let him know it is Mother’s Day, in case he forgot, and ask for what is most important. For example, after lunch, a mom might say, “Since today is Mother’s Day, I would like to go out to dinner.” An alternative would be, “I’d like to rest for an hour while you help the children make Mother’s Day cards.”
Husbands are not mind-readers, so communication is the key to having a happy Mother’s Day. New moms and mothers of older children alike need to share their expectations for a Mother’s Day celebration with their families. Telling husbands what is most important about a Mother’s Day celebration and giving them the chance to make the day special will go a long way toward making Mother’s Day a happy celebration.