4 Quick Tips for Getting Over Hurtful Words

Sticks and stones may break my bones…you know the rest, right?  How many times have you heard that saying?  Countless times, I’m sure.  But, have you ever really stopped to think about it?  WORDS will never hurt me.  Words will NEVER hurt me.  Words will never hurt ME.  No matter how many ways I spin it, the fact still remains:  words can hurt. Today I’m sharing some tips for getting over hurtful words.

The other night, I was talking to a friend about our kids and how they are growing up so fast.  Somehow, our conversation then turned to us reminiscing about our own childhood.  Both of us were able to think back on hurtful things that people said to us when we were in middle and high school.  We also talked about how our children have come to us when someone has said or done hurtful things to them.  I hesitantly admitted that I find myself using that same old tired phrase with my children to help them bounce back from the pain caused by someone’s careless mishandling of words.  It’s not okay to dismiss feelings of hurt. There are much better ways to deal with the effects of hurtful words.

This site may contain links to affiliate websites, and we receive an affiliate commission for any purchases made by you on the affiliate website at no extra cost to you.

Why do words hurt so much?

An article in Psychology Today states words can hurt just as much as sticks and stones. Studies have revealed a connection between emotional and physical pain. Sometimes the things people say can cause you to be frustrated, discouraged or even embarrassed. And those feelings may torment you for a long time after the unkind words were actually said.

How do you respond to unkind words?

Instead of trying to pretend that mean words are not hurtful, figure out ways to cope with the pain caused by hurtful words and actions.  Here are some quick tips to try the next time you are hurt by someone’s words or actions:

1. Don’t take it personally.   Hurt feelings are a part of life.  Everyone experiences hurt from time to time and it’s perfectly normal to experience hurt.  The phrase “hurt people hurt people” has some truth to it. Oftentimes, when people say hurtful things to you, it is not even about you. It is just their way of dealing with other things going on in their lives. So, do not internalize hurtful words.

2.  Express your hurt feelings.  Keeping your feelings bottled up is not the correct way to deal with them. Talk to the person that hurt you. If you do not feel comfortable talking to that person, talk to someone you trust. It is not okay to keep you feelings bottled up inside.

3.  Let it go!  Other people’s opinions do not define us. Period. If someone says something hurtful, let it go. Try not to dwell on it.

4.  End it.  The “Pay it Forward” concept is great when it comes to everything EXCEPT saying mean things.  You know how it feels when someone says something hurtful to you, so make a vow to let it end with you.  Don’t say mean things to or about other people.

What piece of advice would you give to someone who is hurting because of something that someone has said?

Best Journals for Self-Care

Journaling is one of my favorite self-care activities. It’s also a great way help you begin to move towards forgiveness. The key to making journaling a habit is to find a journal that you love. One of the first things I look for in a journal is one that is good quality, like this gratitude journal from Therabox. 

I also love this guided self love journal that is filled with prompts and practices to help improve self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do hurtful words affect us so deeply?

Hurtful words can affect us deeply because they tap into our emotions and self-perception. Words have the power to shape our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. When someone says something hurtful, it can trigger feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and emotional pain.

How can I stop taking hurtful words personally?

It can be challenging, but reframing your perspective can help. Remember that hurtful words often say more about the person saying them than about you. Recognize that everyone has their own insecurities and issues that may lead them to say hurtful things. Focus on building your self-esteem and valuing your own worth.

How do I forgive someone who has said hurtful things?

Forgiving someone who has said hurtful things can be a process. It’s important to remember that forgiveness is for your own healing and peace of mind. Reflect on the situation, understand that people make mistakes, and consider their intentions and circumstances. Practice empathy and compassion, and when you’re ready, let go of the anger and resentment to free yourself from the burden of holding onto grudges.

Can therapy or counseling help with the emotional impact of hurtful words?

Yes, therapy or counseling can be a valuable resource for healing from the emotional impact of hurtful words. A professional therapist can provide guidance, support, and strategies for building resilience, improving self-esteem, and processing emotions related to the hurtful experiences. They can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and work through any lingering effects of the hurtful words.