Let’s talk about forgiveness. Better yet, let’s talk about what happens when you choose to ignore forgiveness. You know, those times when you simply can’t bring yourself to forgive and move on. There are times and situations when forgiveness seems impossible. There are also times when you refuse to forgive due to the anger and resentment that you feel deep inside. We’re human; so, it’s totally normal to feel that way for a while. But, I want to tell you why it’s a bad idea to stay stuck in unforgiveness.
Though it might take some time, your goal should be forgiveness. You don’t want to get stuck in a place of anger, resentment, and revenge. That’s not a healthy place to be and it can lead to all sorts of problems. Most importantly unforgiveness prevents you from moving on to a place where you can live in peace.
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Why do people refuse to forgive?
Emery Counseling cites that the biggest reason that people choose not to forgive is they do not want to send the message that what happened was okay. This is a very valid concern. Here are other reasons that people decide to hold onto grudges:
- They don’t know how to forgive.
- They do not feel the person deserves to be forgiven. (See How to Forgive Someone Who is Not Sorry)
- They simply aren’t ready to forgive.
Why is not forgiving someone a bad idea?
Making the decision to forgive is tough. When someone has done something wrong or hurt you, you may think that not forgiving them is your only option. But, not forgiving someone is a bad idea. Here’s why:
Not forgiving someone keeps you stuck
It’s difficult to move on with your life when you are holding on to feelings of resentment and bitterness. Plus, chances are the other person has probably long moved on with their life. It’s very unlikely that they are worried or feeling bad about what they’ve done to you. They’ve moved on with their life. You, however, are stuck in a bad place.
Unforgiveness leaves less space for happiness
If your heart is full of negative feelings, it’s difficult for happiness to find its way in. It’s hard to be happy and angry at the same time. Forgiving others allows you to find joy, happiness and peace in your life.
Refusing to forgive can lead to depression
Another reason to consider forgiving someone is that staying in a dark place for too long can lead to depression. Finding it in your heart to forgive someone can be helpful. Whatever you’re holding on to is not worth risking your own health and happiness. Choosing to forgive someone can lift a huge burden from your chest and give you newfound freedom. Once you free yourself from the burden of unforgiveness, you will feel so much better.
Ignoring forgiveness hurts you more than it hurts the other person. Do yourself a huge favor and forgive so you can move on and live a happier life.
Best Journals for Self-Care
Journaling is one of my favorite self-care activities. It’s also a great way help you begin to move towards forgiveness. The key to making journaling a habit is to find a journal that you love. One of the first things I look for in a journal is one that is good quality, like this gratitude journal from Therabox.
I also love this guided self love journal that is filled with prompts and practices to help improve self-esteem and self-confidence.